Settled behind the wheel of an early E-type Jag the other day, I couldn't help wondering when switches to turn a gadget on and off gave way to splodgy, squelchy button like things that keep you guessing as to whether a gadget is on or off. The Jags dash boasts a wonderfully long line of identical black toggle switches, derived from more or less contemporary aircraft cockpits, that are very satisfying to use; they have a precise click as the switch flicks from one position to the other, with no soggy feeling between its meticulous extremes.

In sharp, or should I say woolly, contrast are the buttons on, say, my mobile phone which hesitate awkwardly, as if to say "I may be on, 1 may be off and, anyway, I don't care much". My computer features squelchy controls too; there always seems to be some hesitation between it being asked to do something and doing it, something unsure about the way it goes about its ineffable electronic business. Same goes for the remote control that fast forwards videos on my TV. I really find it hard to understand where the squishy button came from. It's horrid to look at, nasty to touch and inefficient. Maybe it's something to do with safety, although you would be hard-pressed even in a head-on crash in an E-Type at 15mph to impale yourself on switches set in the centre of the dashboard. Maybe, then, it's fashion.

The trouble with a positive on-off switch is that ifs so old fashioned from a philosophical point of view, altogether too deterministic in an age given over to chaos theory, deconstructivism and sorts of wibbly-wobbly, loose-fit ideas that negate the logically positive world of the simple-minded toggle switch. We live in age of uncertainty, so perhaps even the humble switch must reflect this. It's just too easy, isn't it, to say "yes" or "no"? We are meant to say "maybe" or "perhaps", and need switches to interpret such an indeterminate approach to life literally. No more up, down, on, off, or shooting purposefully down the M1 at 150mph. And as for car radios/cassette/CD players, they take the biscuit (the soft, bendy type, like an old custard cream). The campaign for real switches starts here. Over and out. Click.